Grand Opening

Grand Opening

It was July 1, 1973 when Tessie Cal decided to go into the bar business.  She had been around taverns all of her life, since her parents were bar owners for twenty-six years.  It seemed like a good way to make a living; to get a bar of her own was on her mind for many years.  The only bad memory she had about the bar business was the way her parents were shot and killed.  After closing one night, a man had stayed in the men’s room of the bar and waited for all of the other customers to leave.  As her parents were cleaning up, the man, who was never caught, shot them.  He took the money, the booze, and anything of value – leaving them lying in a pool of blood.

But now many years have passed since then, and a lot of good memories of growing up in the bar business were thought of often.  You could say that she learned her ABC’s on the jukebox, and how to count by counting the number of customers at the bar.  Any kind of business you go into you take a chance of being robbed or hurt.  So, Tessie had it set in her head to quit her job at the restaurant where she’d been working, and open up a bar.  It was in her blood.

Across the street from where Tessie lived was a nice little bar she would often visit. One day, a for sale sign was hung on the door and it surely caught her eye.  She knew the people that had owned the bar, Nellie and Jim, a nice elderly couple from Ireland.  They were planning on retiring, their business was good, and the price was right.  Before long, Tessie signed her name on the dotted line.

 It made her think of a poem she once wrote:

                           

Temptation

Occasionally through tolerance

somehow becoming quite impossible

Apparently through resisting

perhaps so strongly

emotionally, eliminating reason.

It is difficult, but not intended

yet without knowing why

The threat, incidentally getting

louder and louder repeating

in my mind…and is particularly difficult

to resist temptation.

  She was now a barmaid and was very happy with her new business.  She hoped that the little bar would make her rich and famous.

Tessie knew already many people in the neighborhood, and most of the people from the bar since she went in there often when Nellie and Jim had owned the bar.

The barmaid Ann, who looked twice her age despite the makeup she over zealously applied, had been working for Nellie and Jim for about six years.  Tessie decided to keep her working there since most of the customers knew her and liked her.

Also part of the deal was that Bouncer, an 8 month old black lab, that all of the customers loved was going to now belong to Tessie and guard the bar like he was used to doing. He was quite a friendly, loveable dog, but at night when the bar was closed Bouncer was there to protect and serve, and was vicious if anyone dare try to break in.

A party for the Grand Opening was planned, and it was the biggest party you ever saw.  A band was hired, caterers brought in trays of food, and all of the drinks were FREE.  Everyone seemed to be having a great time dancing up a storm.

Tessie found out fast that working behind the bar was not as easy as it looked.  Ann was very busy and needed help behind the bar.  Tessie’s first customer ordered a bottle of beer, which exploded in her face when she opened it.  The ice machine broke down, and the women’s washroom flooded.  Other than that, everything was under control.

Tessie sent out someone to the store for ice, she wiped the exploded beer off of her face, and the women and men used one washroom until a plumber arrived.  All the while Tessie remembered her father’s strategy on how no matter what happens just keep on going, and everything will work itself out.

A lot of old friends stopped by to see her and wish her luck in her new business.  Things could go well as long as she didn’t drink up all of the profit herself.  So, she made up her mind to just have a social drink every now and then.  Her boyfriend, Danny, did not drink at all, although he liked to get stoned on pills and pot. Other than that he was perfect.

One regular customer, that was called “One beer Tom the jokester” would stop in Tessie’s bar each day, have a small glass of beer and tell a new joke daily.  At first we thought that Tessie’s bar was his only stop, but later found out that his route from his house and one square mile around consisted of 16 bars and for the last 10 years he never missed a day or a bar and had a new joke every day.  Tessie’s bar was early on his route (bar number 7) so he was in good shape and in good humor.  Someone seen him one night at (bar number 14) and he was so loaded he could not remember the punch line to his joke.

One beer Tom the jokester ordered a small glass of beer and said

“Here is the joke of the day”:

Decoy
One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving under the influence laws. At closing time, he saw a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away.

The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy."

The party was going full blast and the bar was loaded (along with everyone in there). No one really got crazy, and it was nice to see everyone enjoying themselves.  Everyone got a raffle ticket upon arrival at the bar, and the prizes won were one of a kind.  Jim and Nellie won the first prize, which was a set of luggage.  Tessie was glad, since they could use them to pack up all of their belongings.  Twenty people won t-shirts that said “Tessie Cal’s Bar”, and a bike was won by a woman who everyone called DUI Dee.  It was the only thing with wheels that the town

drunk was allowed to ride these days.  Tessie found it ironic that the old, toothless woman was the receiver of that prize, and she figured the bike would get plenty of good use being ridden to and from her new bar.

 It made her think of an old poem she had written:

    Conscious

In a subconscious state

of  unknown fears

unforgettable laughter and

unseen tears.

A conscious of terror

trying to forget,

the unknown memories

of things I regret.

Then unconsciously I

remember.

As Tess was cleaning up the bar, she was thinking, “This is going to be a great adventure.  There are really some characters in this place – how did they all end up in one spot?”  Little did she know that 80% of her regular customers were pretty much always going to be there (because they were BARRED everywhere else).

It wasn’t easy to get up the next morning and open the bar at 7:00 AM after being out so late the night before, but at 7:00 AM sharp that door was open.  Tessie had a full bar by 7:15 because everyone had hangovers and knew where to find the sure cure. “Drink up”, said Tessie “it’s good for the nerves. Nothing like a stiff drink to numb your senses and bring on a new day.”

  Danny was an earlier riser and the only one without a hangover, so he did most of the clean up while his pot of coffee was brewing. He stepped out the back door and smoked a little pot, and by 7:45 the juke box was going and the party had begun. 

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